


On Repeat

by purplebass



Category: The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:35:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25826782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplebass/pseuds/purplebass
Summary: A Gabrily fic set after TID and before COG using the prompt: “Why are you here?”
Relationships: Cecily Herondale/Gabriel Lightwood
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25
Collections: Gabrily





	On Repeat

Cecily remembered the night she decided to leave Ravenscar Manor.

It was raining, and even the thick layers of her coat couldn’t shield her from the pelting and chilly drops of water. She told herself not to cry because she would go back to her parents, but in her gut, she was aware that was a lie. The sky knew it too, and it was bawling his eyes out for the grief of the separation.

She couldn’t help it.

She knew that she had to leave and face her brother. She had to ask him to come back, to write a letter to their parents at least. She wasn’t ready to think about that she would be far from her beloved parents yet, not even when she realized that Will would never go back with her, that they would never be together if she would leave again. That was the reason that made her stay. Among other reasons.

As Cecily had grown accustomed to the life at the Institute, she had also grown fond of another person’s company besides her brother. That person was Gabriel Lightwood.

If Will angered her because he was stubborn and didn’t want her to become a shadowhunter like him, Gabriel amused her because he was arrogant and believed he was the best thing to ever grace the earth. Any other woman would fall at his feet just because of his looks. Cecily liked him not only because he was handsome indeed, but also because of his attitude.

She loved challenges, and Gabriel had been one at first, until she fell for him and decided that she would eventually marry him one day.

The next time she saw her parents, she was with him, and she was excited because they would meet him. She didn’t know how they would react, since her father and her brother still thought she was too young to have a boyfriend, let alone a husband. She had to admit that her parents’ approval was important to some degree, and she tried to hide her restlessness when she introduced Gabriel to them.

“I used to know your father,” Edmund told Gabriel after meeting him the first time. “Couldn’t say we were friends, but I was filled with consternation upon hearing of his death.”

Cecily remembered how Gabriel paled at the words, and how he muttered a “Thanks, sir,” and wasn’t able to say more. She squeezed his hand to comfort him silently, in the case the conversation would continue on this topic.

He was still trying to forgive himself because he had been the one to erase Benedict off the face of the earth. They hadn’t talked about this topic much, but she knew that he was still regretting the gesture. After all, it was still his father even if he had turned into a worm. Not matter he had killed him for the safety of the other shadowhunters as well.

When they lived at the Institute after they got married, she saw him sneak out of the drawing room often when they gathered there to talk after dinner. He probably thought no one would notice him leave the room, but she did. _Every time._

She didn’t debate whether she should follow him or not. Sometimes she gave him space, but other times she didn’t. Was she nosy? She didn’t think so. She knew when to leave him alone and when to give him a shoulder to cry on or something else.

She was sure she would find him in their bedroom. Whenever Gabriel was in a wistful mood, he sat on a red armchair by the window and didn’t use a witchlight or a candle to animate the place. He just sat in the darkness, staring at nothing in particular, until he grew tired and went to bed.

She padded into the shadowed room and put a hand on his shoulder. He didn’t flinch, despite he was spaced out. That was the extent of his repentance. At some moment during the day, he wouldn’t be able to think about anything but that day of several years before.

“Why are you here?” Cecily asked casually.

“I was tired.”

“I can see it. Do you want to talk about it?”

She felt his muscles tense under the hand she still had on his shoulder. He had probably tilted his head towards the direction of her voice, but they couldn’t see each other well in the dark so she wasn’t sure.

“I don’t want to bore you.”

“You never bore me, Gabriel. I thought you should know by now.”

Gabriel chuckled softly and grabbed her hand. “Why don’t you sit down?”

“Where should I sit- ah!” she gasped. He had pushed her on his legs, which only meant that he wanted her to be cozy or that he was about to tell her a lot of things. Either way, she liked that. She eased her head on his shoulder and tightened the hold on his hand.

“I’ve been replaying that day in my head,” he revealed after a moment of silence. He then proceeded to tell her about his feelings and his guilt. She didn’t reply all the time because sometimes you don’t need to say anything. She tried to make him feel that she supported him, that she was there in case he wanted to vent more or he wanted to hear someone tell him that he had to do that. It was necessary. He had turned into a worm; he was dangerous for everyone.

“I can’t say you will forget about it, because it would be a lie.”

“I don’t want to forget about it,” he admitted. “I want to tell my children of him and how he died.”

“Our children?”

“Why, don’t you want to have children or you don’t want me to tell them?”

Cecily blushed. “No, I want to have children with you, Gabriel Lightwood. I thought maybe, you didn’t want to.”

“You thought I wouldn’t want to have children because of my father?”

“Probably.”

Gabriel held her close to his body. “Oh, Cecy.” Cecily could smell the faint scent on his neck and hear his beating heart under her cheek. “I’m tired of his shadow looming over me. Sometimes it takes hold of my sanity and I need to be alone in order to send him away, but it needs to stop. I need to move on. I need to accept what happened and live my life.”

Cecily smiled in the crook of his neck and kissed him there. “I’m proud of you,” she whispered. “And pregnant.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m proud of you,” she repeated with a louder voice in his ear. He didn’t know but she had purposely avoided to repeat the second sentence she had just said.

“Not that, Cecy. The other thing.”

“That we are going to have a baby?”

“Yes. Are… are you sure?”

Cecily didn’t answer. She nodded, and he felt her head on his chest. He held her body close and lowered his head on her forehead. She realized he was crying because she felt her skin dampened by the tears.

“Are you happy?”

“You have no idea.”

“You’ll be an amazing father.”

“No doubt.”

And to that, Cecily couldn’t help but laugh and be thrilled.

They were going to have a baby. She didn’t tell him, but she thought it was a girl. She knew that Gabriel would live up to his self-confident remark, and couldn’t wait to see it happen in front of her eyes. She just had to have a little more patience.


End file.
